A Tuesday High-Five

Due to Sunday’s Mother’s Day festivities (actually my weekly Once Upon a Time/Game of Thrones/Nurse Jackie/Veep wine-and-wings-fest), this report is a tad late. But my sloth is actually good because the Monday sports stars aligned so perfectly.

Let me explain in a new little ditty I’ll be trying from time to time: “High Five”—five quick sports news bits to take into the new week:

Slag-nificent Seven
It’s playoffs time for pro hockey and basketball. But even industry experts bemoan the lengthy “best-of-seven” format—until two major matchups come down to that very seventh game, and on the same Monday night. Sadly for me, New York blanked my Washington Capitals 5-0 in DC last night. But the “Boston Strong” helped the Bruins rally from three goals down and beat the Maple Leafs in OT for a second round berth.

Real Golfers of the PGA Tour
He’s a feisty Spaniard who has never won a major tournament, forced to live in the shadow of…him. The one who hurts the ones he loves, yet still is cheered. The one who wins. Well, Sunday, Sergio Garcia had had about enough of Tiger Woods, claiming Tiger purposely distracted him during a swing. Tiger’s reaction? I believe it went something like this: Ptttttt.

Tied in the last round of The Players tournament in Florida, the two sniped at and about each other both on and off camera. But Tiger won the coveted title while Sergio painfully imploded on the 17th and 18th holes, hitting his ball into the water three times. His undoing had many recalling the movie “Tin Cup” (one of my “Most Romantic Sports Movies” picks), in which former golf pro Roy McAvoy (Kevin Costner) has a similar meltdown while trying to regain his life and love (Rene Russo).

Dwyane Wade and his Victory Garden.

Dwyane Wade and his Victory Garden.

Flower Power
Like golf, the NBA is seeing a serious snark spike, particularly in the Miami Heat/Chicago Bulls playoff series. This week had fights, “flops” (fake falls), technical fouls, and an elegantly-dressed Heat fan using her hand to direct Chicago’s ejected Joakim Noah where to go (and it’s not the locker room).

But the story that raised the most eyebrows Wednesday was Miami player Dwyane Wade’s post-game press conference wardrobe choice—a floral print Versace jacket. Though it cost $2000, jacket comments including words like “technicolor” and “dreamcoat” were inevitable. But with the Heat leading the series 3-1 after last night, florals apparently score.

A Mound of Trouble
Baseball is not immune to verbal jabs—just not between players on the same team. But that’s exactly what happened Sunday, when legendary Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera “shushed” nearby teammate Joba Chamberlain as reporters questioned Rivera. Chamberlain responded that “nobody shushes him!” Of course reporters and bystanders heard and told of the exchange. The Yankees PR department quickly Tweeted out a picture of the two hugging, assuring fans the bro-mance was still on.

Now Serving…Kale. To Linebackers?
The Northwest has long been a haven for the health-minded. Now former Oregon football coach Chip Kelly is bringing this thinking to his new position as the Philadelphia Eagles’ head coach. No more taco bars and “Fast Food Fridays” (a real thing) as the team begins preliminary training. Instead, only healthy proteins ands vegetables instead of red meat and donuts. Bold step for the city that invented the cheesesteak.

OK, go boldly into this new week. Keep in mind other upcoming sports events—the San Antonio/Golden State and Indiana/New York Knicks NBA series continue tonight, and Kentucky Derby winner Orb will run in the second race of the Triple Crown, the Preakness, Saturday.

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